Monday, December 21, 2020

Mark on Our Hearts



Preface - I wrote this blog less than 12 hours after the news of my father passing away…

 

As I lay in bed, I cannot help but wonder, what is the meaning of this whole thing of life? What is our purpose here? I lay here, thinking, and now writing while feeling tremendous hurt and longing. Yet, weirdly filled with peace, strength, and focus that I have been missing for a while now.  The fact is due to our fallen world, you cannot understand sadness without experiencing joy. Just like you cannot understand joy without experiencing sadness. It’s the complexity and the conundrum of our human experience of life. It’s our ying and our yang.

 

I have eyes filled with tears over the recent loss of my dad, Craig (Friday voice… I hope you know what I am talking about!). This life event forces me to contemplate the "why;" the meaning of life. Reflecting on my dad's life and the work he did while he was here for 69 years and 19 days. I can only think of the impact he had. The vast outpouring of condolences and stories friends and family are sharing.

 

What is the purpose of this whole thing called life? I mean, let’s be real and I have said it many times on this blog - living with intentional and for the sake of time is a goal of life. Some attain it and some do not. Dad did.

 

My understanding of Dad's purpose is this…

 

Dad may not have been a touchy-feely loving type but he loved unconditionally. He loved selflessly, in the truest terms for both. In this imperfectly perfect way, natural to himself, and human. This is the perfection that he instilled in all of us, his wife, his children, his grandchildren, his friends, and his loved ones. (In fact, I am just finding the far-reaching impact that he had on so many people, this fills my heart to no end!) This is the level of kindness to one another that we should strive to achieve.

 

We may not be able to see dad or touch dad, but we damn sure still feel him. The mark that Dad left all of our hearts. That mark and his legacy never leaves us, ceases or ends, ever. (Obituary)

 

Dad - I promise you I will never forget what you told me. The duty and responsibility you placed on me in our private conversations. I feel light and clear, it does not mean I do not miss you; I always will. It means you left your mark, and that is all you wanted.


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