Tuesday, December 31, 2019

Boasting In My Weaknesses

I had someone recently tell me that I "love to feel bad, so I have something to write about." Well, I can honestly say I did not take to kindly to this statement.  (Come on! How would you respond! But I guess to each their own)  literally had to laugh out loud at the conversation. This statement came from a "Christian" who didn't understand Grace, human flaw, or the weaknesses we all have to deal with in life. The sediment seems to have come from a place of ignorance, lack of accountability, and displacement of their own personal issues. (But all of these previously state things are a conversation for a different day… but the day will come - trust me.)

A thorn in the flesh was given to me, a messenger of Satan, to torment me so that I would not exalt myself. Therefore, I will most gladly boast all the more about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may reside in me. Concerning this, I pleaded with the Lord three times that it would leave me. But He said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is perfected in weakness."
2 Corinthians 12:7-9

So yes, I talk about my failures. I talk about how I do not really know what love it. I talk about how wisdom, curiosity, courage, and faith. I talk about my learnings and self-reflection on change and the game of life. And yes, only a few of you will know what the thorn is, but I have a thorn, and I fight against it Every. Single. Day. I boast in my weaknesses and all of my issues because it is when my faith and God are strongest. That's it. I could tell you about success, but no one really wants to hear it (and it is disingenuous and inauthentic). Because I have found when things are going swimmingly I seem to be the most superficial and distant in my faith. We all know, just going along to get along, that's what we are supposed to do. 

I guess my biggest qualm with the whole notion that I would "love to feel bad, so I have something to write about" is that I have been writing for several years. Both fantastic and significant life experiences (open letters to my daughter and husband), but also heavy situations and painful circumstances ("thoughts to my past" and "letting go and letting grow"). I have written in my joys, and I have written in my pain. However, what I cannot do it be a blogger who boasts authenticity and intentionality, and not actually sharer my true story.
  
Now when it comes to leadership and my interpersonal relationships, I have found that the people I go to the most for support or consult are people who have shown their vulnerability. Much of what I put out there is to help someone else who may be in the midst of a storm I have weathered. (And may have to weather again...) I put it out there, so people begin to accept their own weaknesses as a part of their amazingness. Vulnerability is what makes a leader trusted. The vulnerability of knowing that you are being as real and honest as you can be to everyone. I can be my best self, but I can also be my most honest self. 

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