Monday, July 8, 2019

Thoughts to My Past: Trials

If I could write myself a letter at 17 & 23 (ask me privately why I chose those years of my life...) this is what it would say. The focus of this letter is on lessons learned about the trials of my life. I intentional ordered these letters and wanted to start with trials and tests. Because those trials and tests are ultimate what shaped the development in the other areas of my life: fear, beauty, faith, and love.


I am writing you this letter as a 32-year-old woman, still learning about this thing called "trials." So let me start by saying; you are much wiser than you think. I wish you knew and understood the strength you possessed those many nights you worried yourself to sleep. I wish you understood you are so much savvier than you ever believed. You are so much more capable than you know. But most important - you are so much more valuable than the value you have allowed others to place on you. Let me say that again (for those in the cheap seats!), you are MORE valuable than the perceived value you have of yourself based on the assessment of others.

You explored this world with courage, that looking back at 32, I am not certain I know where it came from. You had/have support all around you that allowed for you to trust if you stumbled and fell, you would never be left behind. (Thank you-Mom, Dad, Sherri, Rhasaan, Brittany, Craigie, Lisa, Imari, Meagan, Christine, & Alicia)

You have learned much, so quickly, because you had to. You pulled yourself out of the trauma that was high school - to have an amazing 3.5 years at Augustana. You had to learn from both of your daughters, more than you may be able to teach them. You pulled yourself out of more than 1 toxic relationships that attempted to steal your confidence, beauty, courage and derail your purpose. You had to learn and grow for your passion. You had to learn and grow for you. You had to have those trails and will continue to have them, God willing, because they help you grow. But share your testimonial.

I must say, I am learning to love the woman I see more and more each day. Sometimes I look at her and cannot believe this is the same person who believed when they said, you're not smart enough, not pretty, too fat, too broken, too needy, too strong, too honest, too opinionated and not worth it. Tiffany, 32 year old you is a badass (sorry not sorry). Trust me, some people won't like that - but lift your head with the grace of God and keep growing.

Count It All Joy 

Upcoming Letters to Me:
  • Beauty
  • Fear
  • Faith
  • Love

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