Wednesday, August 21, 2013

Fear of Flying

All I want to do is soar…
I have been asked to do a piece on me personally, my motivation and how I know I am in the right “lane” when it comes to my career and life. (Which in my opinion I am definitely still figuring this part out… but this is a journey and I am along for the ride).
It all started with me conquering a fear of mine and taking one risk, I always wanted to get a masters degree and be a “professional” something-5 years ago that was a neuropsychology. Since then I have gone into the business world and developed a passion and itch for learning everything people related. I graduated from Augustana College during the 2008-2009 academic year (EVERYONE knows what that year was like). Needless to say I could only find a retail job working part-time in cosmetics; which I felt was a complete waste of my talents. I wanted so badly to be doing something else and getting a masters but was terrified of the rejection and the ability to not graduate successfully. Looking back, I wonder if I was truly afraid to see myself become successful… Seeing myself flying.

Somewhere along the way enough people had told me that I could not do it. Enough people had put a bug in my ear saying that this seems impossible. Now, my difficulties in achieving these goals may come across as low, but please let me set the stage for you. I am 23 years old living at home with my parents. I have a minimum wage part-time job and an infant. I feel like I should be doing much more with my life and there is a yearning in my heart to do so. What I need to better understand myself and get a sense of direction. I needed that couple of very rough years to help me know me.

Me, my husband, and daughter. 4th.
I finally applied for a number of programs, and guess what… I was accepted. Fear of taking flight and rejection from graduate school was successful conquered. That moment was the beginning of my new me and my new motivation. I was no longer living for myself, at this time, I now had an amazing little girl (who I wanted to look up to me and have a successful mother) and a fantastic fiancé (who was that 1 person I needed to tell me that I could). I set 1 single goal for graduate school, I was going to get straight “A’s” and graduate with a 4.0 GPA. After my first semester, that goal was accomplished-and I loved the feeling of success and achieving my goals that I set. Goals that were not achieved over night. And like many of the successful that I would soon come to meet, I realized that I began yearning for more of that feeling.
January of 2012 I had 3 goals I set out to accomplish in the single year:
1. Consciously work on my relationship with God, my daughter, and my husband.
2. Start a career.
3. Study in London.

London 2012-Thames River
The study abroad opportunity was announced in December 2011 and I did all I could to get into that program. I already met all the credentials and I took the first step to see if I could fly and guess what… I got in. Within a number of weeks, I had also applied for an internship with a Fortune 50 company that I had always seen myself working for. I again was faced with the opportunity to attempt to fly again and guess what… I got the internship. Summer of 2012 was a summer I will never forget. I am now working at this huge international organization learning about the possibilities of new career opportunities and I am study business at Regent College in central London just weeks before the Olympics.

Now here was my biggest test as of yet. I was only an intern and was presented an opportunity to test my flying skills as a full-time employee with this organization.  This was one risk that I feared most… I made a commitment to myself at the beginning of the year that I would be working for Fortune 50 Company by the end of 2012 in the HR field. I had managed to accomplish 2 of my 3 goals. However, this one would take the support of my faith and family to get there.  I applied for a position with 2 openings and 1000 applicants. I and literally put all my eggs in one basket and worked my hardest to show my capabilities and when the time came for me to fly, I showed them I could… I got the position.

Mean while I finished my MBA, sadly not with a 4.0 but with a 3.86. Yes, I got a “B” – darn simulation and capstone; but it was well worth the ride because in my eyes that was not a failure.
I soon began to realize that although I had been knocked off my high horse of “college entitlement” by the 2008/2009 economic depression, I was only guaranteeing my failure by not attempting to try. I was so determined to achieve because I survived hardships and I am here now to tell you about them. It seems as though, there were times when I was trying so hard to fly but I was really running in the mud. By the time I had finished reaching those huge milestones, I had already created other goals and missions to achieve and I am working towards those now. I have the work ethic, the focus, the ability to achieve, and to see my goals realized. Someone people may not see that in me, but I can prove it to you. J

In short, I am motive by the fear of the unknown, the journey I am embarking on, and pushing myself to see what capabilities I truly possess.  This process of better knowing me is not yet over and I learn new things about me daily, but these 4 years since my graduation have been trying in the best of ways. Yes, there are days when I wonder if I can continue flying and going higher-but those doubts are soon overcome by my internal confidence knowing that I have been grounded before, dusted myself off, and started all over again. Life changes in single moments, unpredictable moments in time, my goal is to now be able to handle those opportunities in the best light. Trust me… I am not done yet.

With Love and the Best Hopes,
The Professional Gal

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