Friday, February 7, 2020

From One Woman To Another: What Happens When Your Not In the Room

Oh, the unspeakable horrors! No, not really! (I mean it happens all the time!) This post is really about what happens when you are not in the room. Let me be clear, in either a positive way or a not so good way, your name can be discussed in places you are not. The best thing to have is an advocate, someone who will support you when you are not in the room, both privately and publicly. Early in my career, I was told this, but it took years for me to build my network to support this intentionally. To determine who needs to know about the work that I do. How do I learn to promote myself and my work?

I have heard from so many people that “it’s about who you know.” It is all about who you know and that they will get you the role, the promotion, the opportunity, the next big break. The whole “it’s about who you know” is really a conversation that requires some mental reframing (meaning rethinking/reshaping). This is more about who knows your work. Who is willing to speak on your work in a public manner. This is really about when something comes up in a room that you are not in, that they are willing (and in a place) to support you and advocate for you. That you may be the one who gets the promotion, the opportunity, the next big break. Let us take a step back and really think about the people in your life who is advocating for you? But equally as important, who are you advocating for?

For more like this check out the February Black History Post

Thursday, February 6, 2020

From One Woman To Another: Give 'Em the Why


Full disclosure, I am bad at this - just so not good at this... I have to be very honest with myself, I am. It just always assume people know what I know (and I know what people say happens when you assume… no need to go there) In short, my mind thinks at 100 miles/minute and my most significant issue with the “why” is that me, the person who is thinking through the argument/concept/idea/project fully “gets-it.” So if I get it, then everyone else surely must have been along on my thought journey to wisdom and understanding as well. This is my personal blind spot. As to keep in mind that just because this is an admitted and recognized blind spot, that I still do not fall subject to unconscious behavior. Honestly, many times I cannot see it until after it happens in reflection because this is that unconscious for me. The best way to mitigate an unconscious behavior to create a system or process that will allow for the outcome intended. The result, in this case, is going to be making sure I articulate they “why.”

What I have found works for me, when I can mitigate the threat, is to get a second opinion of an idea or concept before I pitch it to the broader team. This allows me to share information with someone who is not as close to it but can ask me all the questions for information that I am assuming my audience has. Many times, it is the “why.” I am learning the art of bringing people along on the journey. In order to gain influential leadership and bring people along on the journey with you, there is a need to understand the "why." The why are we are going on this journey. The why is the journey beneficial for me. The why would I spend my time on this. (Seeing how this understanding ties to a recent post of knowledge of self-determination theory? The need for Fairness and the appearance of transparency…) Advice, bring people along on the journey because real change never happened with just 1 person, and all the followers need to know, understand, and make their own the “why.”

For more like this check out the February Black History Post

Wednesday, February 5, 2020

From One Woman To Another: A Safe Support System

Possessing a selective and robust support system is critical, and I briefly touched on this in my recent post Building Trusting Relationships. You have to have your someone(s), now this doesn’t mean someone at work necessarily, but someone(s) who can provide you with the honest perception and feedback that you desire and sometimes do not want. But further to be that someone that you can just “offload” it all too. 
We all need someone to speak honestly and sometimes, frustratingly to and with, and this person or those people should be “safe.” By safe, I mean someone who will not trigger a threat response from you, because the trust has been built over time. Someone who will not judge you, but will also listen and, if desired, provide you with honest feedback. Find and keep your people, these will be some of the most valued relationships that you ever have.

For more like this check out the February Black History Post