Monday, December 24, 2018

Letting Go & Letting Grow: Thorn In My Side

When looking back at many of my post, you can see and hear the (maybe even feel) the faith. But I could never quiet get myself to said I am here literally by the Grace of God. I have always flirted with my faith when writing. Never quite proclaiming it but never denying it. Never explicitly attributing it to my life’s work, but not ever saying that it wasn’t the reason. I will always write about practical things and lessons learned in life, both personally and professional - but the tone has changed a bit. (I kind of like the way it feels too!)

We all have those people, things, or circumstances that we cannot seem to easily escape. Whether it is co-worker who seems to be your contrarian. Or the aunt/uncle, cousin, niece or nephew who presence seems to bring out the worst characteristics of you. Whether it is the situation that you have been trying desperately to avoid, but keeps coming back around begging to be involved in your life. Or it is the addiction to "XYZ" that we just cannot seem to fully embrace that we have and kick it to the curb.
"A thorn in the flesh was given to me, a messenger of Satan to torment me so I would not exalt myself."
2 Corinthians 12: 7
In the above quote luckily Paul spared us the details of what his thorn was, as he should have. No one should have to share their thorn with anyone else. It is very much a private and personal thorn, just know - your not the only one. We ALL have one, or a few of them, a thorn in our side. I promise you, I always thought, for some reason that I was exempt from this "rule of life." I thought I was introspective enough, and development focused enough to be able to control it. (In hind sight, maybe that’s why I unconsciously placed such an emphasis on being the person I am, to avoid and control what I cannot. Or at the very least feel like I have a sense of control. It all begins to make sense. -Psychoanalyzing myself now…

It was not until one day, sitting in the crowded Las Vegas airport, with my white apple ear buds on, waiting to catch a red eye to LA that someone pointed out my thorn. Even then I promise you, I did not believe that I could have one. I thought if I focused enough on me, the Word, my growth and development, my prayers, my family, and my life that in time this thorn would just go away. It didn’t - it got easier, my visible - but it has always been there, and may always be there. Then I accepted I had/have a thorn in my side.

The problem with a thorn is that they are meant to throw you off of your game. They are meant to shift you away from your purpose. They are a means to derail your progress. The are a means to create chaos and lack of vision. But, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is perfected in weakness." When I am at my weakest place, I look to the Grace of God for the power that I do and will never possess to get me through.

This may been a bit harsh, but it is absolutely real when it comes to your thorn,
You know who you are…
I thought I knew who you were
I see now you were a lesson to learn
And all I am to you now is a bridge that's been burned

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