Saturday, August 17, 2019

Thoughts to My Past: Decisions

If I could write myself a letter at 17 & 23 (ask me privately why I chose those years of my life...) this is what it would say to me, as an "adult." The focus of this letter is decisions, the process of moving in spite of fear to conquer failure. Sometimes we don’t make the best ones but the best part is we learn (sometimes… I think…I think we sometimes learn).

Tiffany,

I am writing you this letter as a 32-year-old woman, who still has to make decisions. I am certain that no where in your wildest dreams did you ever think that you would be capable of making the decisions that you have made. Moving where you have moved. Going where you have gone. Some horrible, but taught you the most. Some amazing, and changed your life in ways you are still seeing (there is one in particular that fills your heart every time you think about it). Some that required nothing more of you than to be still and wait.

We have had to accept it as a truth that decision making never gets any easier. And not to sound terribly cliché BUT, they only get more serious, impactful, and more difficult. But also, the best decision you can make is to do nothing in the immediate moment. Yes! That is a decision, it is a choice. 

Something else we have managed to get out of our decision-making abilities is that you cannot allow your emotions to paralyze you in fear of decision making. Or allow yourself to make a decision in a highly illogical and emotional state. It seems as though the decisions that used to be difficult become increasingly easier, but the impact of those decisions is greater. The stakes are so much higher because your decisions are not made in a vacuum. They greatly impact the lives of all of those around you. 

  1. Like 5:16: Tune Out Distractions
  2. Proverbs 19:20: Seek Godly Advice
  3. James 4:1: Narrow Down Your Choices
  4. James 1:22: Do Something - Even If It Is To Be Still
  5. Psalms 28:7: Give Thanks For Answers

Past Letters to Me:

Upcoming Letters to Me:
  • Fear
  • Faith
  • Love

Wednesday, July 24, 2019

Thoughts to My Past: Failure

If I could write myself a letter at 17 & 23 (ask me privately why I chose those years of my life...) this is what it would say to me, as an "adult." The focus of this letter is failure, the ultimate teacher. 

Tiffany,

I am writing you this letter as a 32-year-old woman, still learning to cope with this thing called failure and it sucks! While in the midst of it, it feels like walking in a smoky room with windows and a door out, but due to the intense smoke it is hard to find your way out. The feeling of being in a heightened threat state is a miserable place to be. The feeling of having clouded judgment based on emotions rather than logic is a miserable place to be. The feeling of not knowing what your next step should be is a miserable place to be. The feeling of deep and true pain and sadness can be overwhelming. 

But let's be real, we have really messed something ups - either through lack of knowledge, preparation, understanding, or the other multitude of reasons we fail at something. But failure always produced growth, even the most beautiful things in life have flaws. At the moment I promise that the failure may feel, well... shitty, but this too will pass. I guarantee you when it does, and you reflect and write about it. You will count it all as joy, and understand the blessing and grace that you have received.

Here is the amazing silver lining, every time you feel a setback, you bounce back better than you were before. Time has shown this to be true, we count it all as joy. Because we now know and recognize that every time

Bounce, bounce back
Shake it off, get right on track
I'm moving on - Gotta put it in the past
Bounce, bounce back
Snap your fingers and just like that - I let it go
Gotta let it fade to black
Like a river - Cry all my tears
I have to swim through it
Dry it off, I'm outta here
Bounce, bounce back
Shake it off, I'm right on track
I'll be moving on

You have managed to bounce back from the failures of both your personal and professional life. Because you reframed the failures to be learnings. Something you can take away from every situation to better guide you in the future. Be proud young lady, and brace yourself, this life is going to be a wild ride.

Past Letters to Me:

Upcoming Letters to Me:
  • Fear
  • Faith
  • Love

Saturday, July 20, 2019

Thoughts to My Past: Beauty

If I could write myself a letter at 17 & 23 (ask me privately why I chose those years of my life...) this is what it would say to me, as an "adult." The focus of this letter is beauty. What is beauty anyway? Well according to Merriam-Webster "beauty" is…

1: the quality or aggregate of qualities in a person or thing that gives pleasure to the senses or pleasurably exalts the mind or spirit: loveliness
2: a particularly graceful, ornamental, or excellent quality
3: a brilliant, extreme, or egregious example or instance

Tiffany,

I am writing you this letter as a 32-year-old woman, still learning about this thing called "beauty."  Beauty was something that we really struggled with, and you were terrified of growing older and how people saw you. Girl! You are a mother and time has served you pretty well. Dang it! I wished we would have looked up the definition of beauty years ago. It's so simple, yet, for years, the operational definition you held was so outwardly focused you forget that grace was a part of the definition.

Let's face it, it is still an issue now, but people can and will be cruel. When it comes to something as tender thing as beauty, I wish adult me could hold the 17-year-old Tiffany. Tell her what she was, what she is, and what she will do. Maybe, in may ways I did, and that’s how we got here today. 

"Young girl, don't cry. I'll be right here when your world starts to fall. Young girl, it's alright - Your tears will dry, you'll soon be free to fly."

For far too long, your beauty was determined by the way you were perceived by others, with little to no regard for the way you perceived yourself. Let me say that again, YOUR beauty was determined by how others assessed you. That is a tough way to live, and rather unfortunate. But, we lived that way for a long time, yet, because of the trials we got the joys of living and learning. 

You are everything you have grown to be and more. Keep on loving you and those 2 girls. Cause I love you, and think you beyond beautiful in your way, the way you should be, just where you should be, just how you should be. 

Past Letters to Me:

Upcoming Letters to Me:
  • Fear
  • Faith
  • Love