Wednesday, January 15, 2020

Intentionality & Purpose: Why do you need both?

As I start this journey with my oldest daughter on Duvet to Desk Discussions, I am really taking a hard look at intentionality. (I mean, how do you corral a 9-year-old into having intentional discussions around vast topics???? But she wanted to be apart of it...) I have recently had some new experiences with the word intentionality. Most people in their heart of hearts believe that they are intentional. I am speaking, specifically, on intentionality that drives your unconscious thoughts and behaviors. However, I have found that intentions do not have a voice when your actions proceed you.

Meaning, you can say your as intentional and thoughtful as the sky is blue, but if your actions do not match (primarily your efforts when things are tough), then you, dear, are not intentional. For example, all the positive vibes and thoughts and intents in the world don't mean shit unless you actually do something with them (this is social media activism at its finest. Wow! I cannot stand the phrase "thoughts and prayers" posted on someone's page with almost no intention to action. Yes- I appreciate the prayers, but you know, can you help a sister out?!)

Starting - with breaking the age-old habit not fulfilling promises to one's self. If you can break a commitment to yourself - you'll break a promise to anyone else.

Next - only you can fix the version of you currently to be the you-you desire to be and want the world to see. Stop painting over your cracks (your flaws) to pretend that they do not exist. The ancient Chinese have a brilliant way of fixing porcelain that is broken, they fill it with gold and piece it back together. Find your flaws, which we all have, embrace them, and fill them will gold. Let the world know you are wonderfully and beautifully made-flaws and all. And not you are on your intentional journey to becoming the you-you were made to be.

Additionally - consistently intentional action is strangely linked to the idea and concept of passion/purpose. Purpose, to me, is doing what sets my soul on fire and makes my heart sing. I cannot break promises and commitments to something that my entire being longs to do. 

But, I am quickly finding that (equally saddening) most people never find passion. Searching for passion requires intentionality, sometimes heartache, many times failing forward, learning, and growth. You will not discover your purpose under a mythical rock somewhere. Just patiently waiting for you to find it. You have to learn and grow your passion. It is the most profound evolution of your character and person. This is the sum of all things that encompass curiosity and passion. The 2 drivers that, when combined and utilized, vastly outweigh IQ. Delivering on results that are far superior to IQ. And creating change that withstands the ultimate test of time. 

When you blend intentionality and passion, you get and an explosion of insight and action. Both leading and driving to the ultimate forms of joy, peace, and clarity. Keeping in mind that you only have ONE life to live. ONE shot at this fantastic, complicated, beautiful, and challenging thing called life, and the ONLY thing that you cannot get back is time. So, "If time were the currency by which we measure the success of our lives, would we spend it differently?" 

Monday, January 6, 2020

2020: Wholeness & Humility

2012: Fortune Favors the Prepared Mind
2013: A smooth sea never made a skilled sailor
2014: For I know the plans I have for you
2015: She is clothed in strength and dignity 
2016: Be still and know
2017: Be Vast and Be Brilliant (Be Intentional)
2018: Of sound spirit, body, and mind
2019: Live & Exemplify Eunoia

As I have renewed and a stronger focus on my blog, Duvet To Desk. I want to focus on a deeper layer of growth and personal understanding while on the journey called life. Every year for about 8 years, I have had a goal that is about my growth. But for some reason in 2020, I am getting a strong pull to focus and spend more time thinking, reflecting, being intentional, and developing content around this blog. Continuing to strengthening myself in preparation for the future, within my spirit, my body, and my mind. Deeper into my heart and deeper into my soul.

So without further ado, I present to you the 2020 Mantra…
Follow Me, and I Will Make You A Fisher of Men: Wholeness & Humility 

Where does the Fishers of Men come from?
·       Matthew 4:19 (ESV) (one of my favorite bible verses), "Come, follow Me, and I will make you fishers of men."
·       In order to be a fisherman, you have to know what you are fishing for, when to fisher, and how to fish - this requires intentionality, preparation, and patience.
·       Maintaining wholeness and humility is a part of the equipment I will need to do the task I have been graced with. (To preverbally fish for people)

What does it mean to be whole?
·      Containing all the elements properly belonging; complete,
·      Undivided; in one piece.

What does it mean to be humble?
·      Lowliness of mind

"By faith in his name, his name has made this man strong, whom you see and know. So the faith that comes through Jesus has given him this perfect health in front of all of you." 
-Acts 3: 16

I want to have a renewed focus on gentleness, meekness, and open-mindedness. This is what I am striving towards and working towards this year. Join this journey with me! 2019 was a year of lessons and growth. With intentionality and planning, 2020 will bring new challenges!

Tuesday, December 31, 2019

Boasting In My Weaknesses

I had someone recently tell me that I "love to feel bad, so I have something to write about." Well, I can honestly say I did not take to kindly to this statement.  (Come on! How would you respond! But I guess to each their own)  literally had to laugh out loud at the conversation. This statement came from a "Christian" who didn't understand Grace, human flaw, or the weaknesses we all have to deal with in life. The sediment seems to have come from a place of ignorance, lack of accountability, and displacement of their own personal issues. (But all of these previously state things are a conversation for a different day… but the day will come - trust me.)

A thorn in the flesh was given to me, a messenger of Satan, to torment me so that I would not exalt myself. Therefore, I will most gladly boast all the more about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may reside in me. Concerning this, I pleaded with the Lord three times that it would leave me. But He said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is perfected in weakness."
2 Corinthians 12:7-9

So yes, I talk about my failures. I talk about how I do not really know what love it. I talk about how wisdom, curiosity, courage, and faith. I talk about my learnings and self-reflection on change and the game of life. And yes, only a few of you will know what the thorn is, but I have a thorn, and I fight against it Every. Single. Day. I boast in my weaknesses and all of my issues because it is when my faith and God are strongest. That's it. I could tell you about success, but no one really wants to hear it (and it is disingenuous and inauthentic). Because I have found when things are going swimmingly I seem to be the most superficial and distant in my faith. We all know, just going along to get along, that's what we are supposed to do. 

I guess my biggest qualm with the whole notion that I would "love to feel bad, so I have something to write about" is that I have been writing for several years. Both fantastic and significant life experiences (open letters to my daughter and husband), but also heavy situations and painful circumstances ("thoughts to my past" and "letting go and letting grow"). I have written in my joys, and I have written in my pain. However, what I cannot do it be a blogger who boasts authenticity and intentionality, and not actually sharer my true story.
Now when it comes to leadership and my interpersonal relationships, I have found that the people I go to the most for support or consult are people who have shown their vulnerability. Much of what I put out there is to help someone else who may be in the midst of a storm I have weathered. (And may have to weather again...) I put it out there, so people begin to accept their own weaknesses as a part of their amazingness. Vulnerability is what makes a leader trusted. The vulnerability of knowing that you are being as real and honest as you can be to everyone. I can be my best self, but I can also be my most honest self.