Monday, March 30, 2020

The World Slowed Down & The Time Is Now

It is so amazing to me just how much the world can manage to slow down when it needs to. I do not know if it is just me or if other people are feeling the same way (if so, comment and let me know); but, it feels like a huge weight has been lifted from my shoulders over the past couple of weeks. It has been so amazing to slow down everything in life and just focus on one thing, one issue, one day and one moment at a time.

I was driving back to Peoria a few days ago and had several hours to just think. To reflect on the past couple of weeks and really think about what does this whole pandemic mean. For starters, I realized everything slowed down to a pace that allows us to really think, and for some people who are not ready to do that, this shelter in place will be terrible. Second, it put things into perspective - weighing out what really matters in life. Why do I waste my precious moments of life, caught in the struggle of other people, allowing them to get you hooked in their life and circumstances? Finally, now is the time…

Now is the time to do all the things, all the things you "didn't have time for." All the things that you didn't make a priority. All the things that set your soul on fire. Now is the time to write the book, start the blog, get a journal and call the old friend or family member. Now is the time to hug your loved ones, to let go of the old grudge, and to make the progress that you so desire. Now is the time to seek your faith, to seek to understand, and to live the life you were called to have. In short, what I am saying, do all the things you never thought you could - because the world has slowed down and the time is now.

"If time were the currency by which we measure the success of our lives;
would we spend it differently?"

Sunday, March 22, 2020

Now Is The Time: Refocus & Re-energize

Hey Loves!

Thank you so much for rocking with me! I wanted to provide you with a little update on my life since my last post. Things have been on the uptick, my girl Rona (COVID-19) has allowed me to slow down and put things into perspective (when I am not at work in a heightened state of readiness, let's face it, being an HR Manager is not for the faint of heart). 

However, I am still optimistic about this year! There are so many beautiful and amazing things happening that I cannot help but look forward too. I will be spending my free time refocusing, re-energizing, and blogging!

Do not let this get you down people! I was driving home yesterday and thought, life is so short, do not spend it with people who should not be in your life, or waste it on a worry that is not worth the worry, or use it being or feeling unloved or unhappy. You know what I always say... 

"If time were the currency by which we measure the success of our lives;
would we spend it differently?"

Now is the time to live that way! 

Friday, March 6, 2020

I'm Supergirl - But Who Saves Me

"I've gotta keep the calm before the storm
I don't want less, I don't want more
Must bar the windows and the doors
To keep me safe, to keep me warm
Yeah, my life is what I'm fighting for
Can't part the sea, can't reach the shore
And my voice becomes the driving force
I won't let this pull me overboard."

I have always tried to be very honest and open with you. So I must start by saying this is one of the more deep posts. You cannot begin to imagine the difficultly of having such a clear understanding of what love is and life, but feel so incapable of living what you know. I have had a challenging few years, mainly personally, that care to a complete tipping point this past week.

I am a work in progress and strive for improvement over perfection, but fall into the idea of perfection. At least outwardly. As much as I say perfection doesn’t matter for some reason (that will require a lot of reflection) I seem to strive for it. There is no amount of money, no bag, no house, no job that can fill a void that was meant to be filled with something divinely inspired. I am currently fighting a hard and painful fight for my life. Living moment to moment in a smoke-filled room that I can seem to find me way out of.

"And I can't see in the stormy weather
I can't seem to keep it all together
And I, I can't swim the ocean like this forever
And I can't breathe
God, keep my head above water
I lose my breath at the bottom
Come rescue me, I'll be waiting
I'm too young to fall asleep."

This life an imperfectly perfect journey filled with highs and lows that we have to wade our way through - only by the Grace of God will I find my way. Only with the love and support of those around will I weather this stormy weather. But as it stands right now - it hurts in places that I cannot seem to process the hurt. (Although writing this feels like an incredible release and understanding of my truth). Such a sharp and unimaginable pain that makes you question everything you ever held true and dear.

I am a broken person who is trying to keep it all together when it feels like it is all falling apart. And reminding myself God breaks us down to build us up. God allows the ugly into shows us how to let go of the old to build anew. I will get past this; however, I wanted you all to know that I may understand this world. But I am still 100% subject to the unspoken laws of it.

P.S. I am fine and will be fine - my writing has always been a way of processing and reflecting on everything. I actually started writing as a means of getting everything in my head out and making it actionable. Thank you all for the thoughts and prayers